轉載那部惡搞版的對白翻譯 🤢
原處在"路西法地獄" 😃
http://www.lucifer.hoolan.org/index.php
譯者:好狗(HOGO)
影片下載:MTV
MTV 音樂台製作,魔戒剪接惡搞版翻譯
MTV台利用魔戒首部曲組成魔戒遠征隊時的片段剪接而成的超搞笑版!真的笑死人了!
附上我自己做的翻譯(因為原片沒字幕),不過建議大家一定要直接看才夠爆笑!很多精彩之處不在台詞裡。
==== 以下翻譯請先看過原片再參考 ====
: : strangers from distant lands, friends of old,
Elrond:來自四面八方的陌生朋友們、各位老友們
: : you have been summoned here to answer the threat of mordor.
Elrond:這次是為了回應魔多的威脅而召喚諸位來到這裡
: : middle-earth stands upon the brink of destruction.
Elrond:中土世界如今已經面臨毀滅的邊緣了
: : Bring forth the Ring.
Elrond:把魔戒呈上前來吧
(某女星假扮的Arwen以及某男星扮演哈比人突然出現在電影片段中 XD)
: : jack, you do have the ring, don't you?
Arwen:Jack,魔戒不是你拿著嗎?
: : yes. yes, i have the ring Jack:呃....是的....魔戒是在我這裡是沒錯.....
: : the thing is, last night, me and some buddies had a little too much mead,
Jack:不過呢,由於昨天晚上我跟幾個死黨喝得稍微多了一點....
: : and we ended up at the piercing parlor,
Jack:後來不知怎麼搞的我們跑到穿耳洞的店裡去....
: : and we ended up, and....
Jack:然後....ㄝ....啊.....
: : a long story short...
Jack:好吧,這樣比較快.......
(脫掉褲子露出小弟弟)
: : oh, my god.
Arwen:喔!天啊!
: : it is a gift.
Boromir:真是天賦異「柄」!
: : you're damn right, it's a gift
Jack:你說的一點兒也沒錯,這是我最驕傲的天賦 ^^
: : it's called a "Prince Albert,"
Jack:它的名字叫做「亞伯特王子」(本來就是小弟弟的暱稱 XD)
: : and it's my precious
Jack:這是我的寶貝~ (學Gollum的表情跟語氣 XD)
: : so, you're telling us
Arwen:呃....所以你是要告訴我們說
: : that you took the fabled Ring of Sauron,
Arwen:你拿了傳說中的索倫之戒
: : the one ring that could destroy allof middle-earth,
Arwen: 那枚足以毀滅整個中土世界的戒指!
: : and attached it to your--
Arwen: 然後把它黏到你的....
: : your little Hobbit there?
Arwen: 你的小弟弟的上面?!
: : it was easy.
Jack: 對啊,這很簡單啊
: : see, what they do is
Jack: 你瞧,他們的作法就是
: : they heat up this metal spike,
Jack: 先把一根大鋼釘燒熱
: : then they drive it through your penis,
Jack: 然後把它戳進你的小弟弟裡
: : and then they just wiggle it around a little bit
Jack: 再來用力擣一擣
: : to make sure the hole's big enough,
Jack: 等到他們覺得洞夠大了
: : then they put a hinge on the ring, snap it shut,
Jack: 然後就用絞練穿過魔戒,把它們一起鎖緊,
: : boom, it's on there forever, baby.
Jack: 搞定!這樣它們就永遠黏在一起了,寶貝。
: : that's disgusting.
Arwen: 真是有夠噁心的
: : you say that now.
Jack: 你現在是這樣講!
: : this little bad boy
Jack: 可是等你知道這個小壞壞....
: : gets the ladies where they're trying to go every time.
Jack: 每次都能讓女士們High到最高點的話....
: :that Ring must be destroyed.
Elrond: 這枚戒指必須被摧毀
: : Yo, Eyebrows, stay out of this.
Jack: 喂!眉毛兄!(Elrond諧音),別想動他!
: : Jack!
Arwen: Jack!
: : none of us are comfortable with the fate of middle-earth
Arwen: 我們沒有任何一個人可以忍受中土世界的命運....
: : dangling from your--
Arwen: 得「維繫」在你的....
: : oh, my god! it's moving.
Arwen: 喔!天啊!「它」在動!
: : the ring must be destroyed.
Legolas: 這個戒指必須被摧毀!
: : okay, fine. I'm taking it off.
Jack: 好啦好啦!我把它拿下來可以了吧!
: : Jeez Louise!
Jack:真是....
: : I can't get it off.
Jack: ㄝ...我拿不下來....
(不斷掙扎....過了一會兒)
: : Maybe somebody should help him with that?
Arwen: 呃,哪位出來幫他一下?
眾人全部爭先恐後起立 XD (這是原電影片段喔 XDDD)
: : oh, for god's sake, somebody, help him.
假Arwen: 喔,拜託,別吵了,快點幫他拿下來!
: : You have my sword.
Aragon前來跪在小底迪面前 XD: 你有我的劍!
: : And my ax.
Gimli:還有我的斧頭!
: : Dude put down the ax.
Jack: 老兄,把斧頭放下(驚!)
: : You know, I knew you guys wouldn't be supportive.
Jack: 你知道嗎,我早就曉得你們根本幫不上忙了。
: : Gimle, when you wanted to grow a beard,
Jack: Gimli,當你說你想要留鬍子的時候,
: : we all said it would look dumb,
Jack: 我們都跟你說那看起來一定很驢,
: : but you did it anyway, and now you've got a cool Rob Zombie thing going on.
Jack: 可是你還是不管三七二十一的留了,結果你看看你現在跟殭屍一樣!
: : And, Elrond, the headband, it's a little 1983,
Jack: 還有,Elrond,你的頭飾,那已經是1983年的老流行了!
: : but that's cool
Jack: 不過這還不打緊
: : And, Frodo, remember when--
Jack: 還有,佛羅多,你記得嗎?當....
: : Frodo?
Jack: 佛羅多?
(Frodo仍然驚訝的盯著他的小底迪 XD)
: : Yo, Frodo Eyes up here
Jack: 喂!佛羅多,把眼睛往上看到這裡!
: : Jack, you're right.
Arwen: 傑克,你說的沒錯。
: : None of us have been very supportive,
Arwen: 我們沒有人能夠幫的上忙
: : and it is a very attractive piercing.
Arwen: 而且這是一個非常有吸引力的穿洞....
: : and it is it okay if i...
Arwen: 我是否可以....
: : take a closer look?
Arwen(往下瞄): 靠近一點看一下呢?
: : But, of course, my lady.
Jack: 當然囉,女士 ^^
(Arwen沈到下面去)
: : You might notice the fine craftsmanship.
Jack: 你應該可以注意到它的製作有多麼地精緻.....
: : Ahhhhhhhhh!
Jack: 哇啊啊啊啊啊啊!
(Arwen拿著戒指站起來)
: : Okay. Let's get this bitch to Mount Doom.
Arwen: 好了!讓我們戒指送到末日火山去吧!
註:Rob Zombie是美國家喻戶曉的重金屬樂團 White Zombie 的主唱,他的特徵就是留著一臉大鬍子,有關他的資訊可以看一下網站:
http://www.robzombie.com/
感謝網友AnnhltR (IhRiesling)提供此資訊 :)
註:關於上面這篇文章,我只是想要補充一下。在短片中扮演Arwen的女星叫做莎拉蜜雪兒吉蘭,她是演出影集Buffy The Vampire Slayer起家的。還曾經演過魔法一點靈、史酷比等電影,之前代言的媚比琳睫毛膏台灣也有上市。
http://www.sarah-michelle-gellar.com/
感謝網友Chie (chie@ms10.URL.com.tw)提供此資訊 :)
(2003-12-21 23:28)